Difference between revisions of "Assassin"
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==Stupidity== | ==Stupidity== | ||
− | To say that the Assassin was utterly pointless as a villain would be an understatement. Honestly, the only villain I've ever seen that was more pointless than the Assassin was the character of Nute Gunray from the Star Wars prequels. No, wait. The Assassin ''was'' more pointless than Gunray. Wow, that means even George Lucas can thumb down his nose at ''The Goliath Chronicles,'' if he wants to. | + | To say that the Assassin was utterly pointless as a villain would be an understatement. Honestly, the only villain I've ever seen that was more pointless than the Assassin was the character of Nute Gunray from the ''Star Wars'' prequels. No, wait. The Assassin ''was'' more pointless than Gunray. Wow, that means even George Lucas can thumb down his nose at ''The Goliath Chronicles,'' if he wants to. |
[[Category:Apocrypha characters]] | [[Category:Apocrypha characters]] | ||
[[Category:The Goliath Chronicles]] | [[Category:The Goliath Chronicles]] |
Revision as of 11:59, 24 March 2007
The Assassin was a masked human of unknown name and origin who appeared in only one episode of The Goliath Chronicles, working alongside Demona in the lamentable suckburger "Generations."
History
Anyway, the Assassin made his first appearance in Generations when he attacked Demona as Demona was attempting to free Angela, Goliath, and Brooklyn from a Quarrymen ambush. He was armed with a gun that looked like a blowdryer, and wore a suit that enabled him to cloak himself, rendering him invisible to the naked eye. The gun was capable of firing a wide range of projectiles, from lasers to tranquilizer darts. I'm not complaining too much about this guy's arsenal. Rather, I take offense to the fact that for a series that, before The Goliath Chronicles, prided itself upon character-driven story, we got absolutely no clues as to this guy's motives. He continued to attack the gargoyles as the episode went on (enabling Demona to convince the clan that the two had a common enemy), and finally succeeded in capturing Goliath with the help of the Quarrymen (for further information on why this is aggravating, see the synopsis to Generations).
The Assassin and the Quarrymen moved the captured gargoyle to a barge, where the Assassin's real plan was revealed: he and Demona were actually working side-by-side. Demona was intended to lure the rest of the clan to the harbor, where they would arrive too late to stop the Assassin from killing Goliath, which was supposed to spur the clan to welcome Demona back into their fold. Okay, that sort of makes sense (again, see the episode synopsis to learn everything wrong with that). But then the Assassin made a ridiculous, dumb-ass breach of logic and announced that his REAL plan was for Demona to lure the others into a trap, so that he could kill all the gargoyles. Bear in mind that throughout the episode, we never even learned this guy's name, or got any background on him at all. And yet, for reasons never explained, not only does he want to kill all the gargoyles, but this is apparently his lifelong dream. Again, see the episode synopsis on why this is galactically stupid. I mean, Goliath Chronicles villains generally lacked depth (see Runaways or A Bronx Tail), but this was just moronic enough to make ones brain implode.
The Assassin never got to embark upon his unexplained killing spree. Goliath broke free of his chains just as he was about to shoot Angela and Demona, and managed to defeat him. I like to think that when Goliath struck the Assassin with his chains, he fractured the guy's sternum and fatally wounded him. And also, it took him hours to die and he suffered greatly throughout. Hey, people can dream.
Stupidity
To say that the Assassin was utterly pointless as a villain would be an understatement. Honestly, the only villain I've ever seen that was more pointless than the Assassin was the character of Nute Gunray from the Star Wars prequels. No, wait. The Assassin was more pointless than Gunray. Wow, that means even George Lucas can thumb down his nose at The Goliath Chronicles, if he wants to.